Self-concept: what it is & how to change it (with examples)

When you ask yourself, “Who am I?” the beliefs and attributes you use to answer make up your self-concept. 

How others see you also plays into how you perceive yourself. This means your overall self-concept includes outside influences as well. It’s important to have an accurate understanding of your self-concept to avoid negative self-talk and achieve greater confidence.

Self-concept: psychology definition and theories

In The Handbook of Personality Psychology, a comprehensive textbook published in 1997, Roy Baumeister explored the idea of self-concept as it relates to personal identity. He found that people naturally wish to define their sense of self and understand who they are. That could mean identifying themselves as successful, educated, or unique.

Baumeister also said that wanting to grow and know yourself can spur an identity crisis. This happens when someone’s vision of their future self doesn’t align with who they think they are today. It could also happen when someone realizes that something they believed about themselves isn’t actually true. 

For example, you may think you’re a high performer. But if an important performance review implies you haven’t been putting in as much effort as you thought, it could induce a crisis.

Sometimes, people deeply believe in their core values but feel external pressure to act in ways that don’t represent them. If honesty is important to you but a friend asks you to lie, your self-concept and behavior may be in conflict. This can also result in a self-identity crisis. 

Trying to define who you are isn’t easy. As with many of life’s tough questions, researchers and theorists have tried to unpack the implications of “knowing yourself.” Here are three self-concept theories that approach the idea in distinct ways.

3 components of self-concept

American psychologist Carl Rogers divided the idea of self-concept into three parts:

• Self-image, which reflects how you view yourself or how others view you
• Self-esteem, which is how much value you place in your sense of self
• The ideal self, which is how you would like to be

Rogers said that one goal of learning more about yourself is discovering how to get closer to your ideal self.

His concept of the ideal self is similar to self-actualization as defined by Abraham Maslow in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which refers to reaching your full potential. Examples of self-actualization and the ideal self include being your authentic self, seeking to find life’s purpose, and practicing self-compassion.

In psychology, and reiterated by Rogers, the divide between your real self and ideal self is incongruence. When you become the person you desire, your ideal and actual selves align and become congruent. Working toward the ideal is key to eventual self-acceptance.

Self-concept and social context

Henri Tajfel and John Turner established social identity theory in the late 1970s. This theory associates aspects of a person’s self-concept with a group they belong to. The social group could be a team, nationality, or any collective of people with shared ideas. 

Tajfel and Turner determined behaviors were either in or out of line with the group’s ideals. For example, high school students in a drama club are more likely to have the same behaviors as other drama club members than athletes. Future psychologists used this knowledge to explore conformity, social skills, and cognitive bias.

Multiple dimensions of self-concept

Psychologist Bruce Bracken determined six domains (focus areas) within self-concept. He stated that getting to know yourself in these areas provides a holistic view of who you are. These six focus areas include the following:

• Social, which refers to how you feel about your social interaction with others
• Competence, which covers your ability to meet your basic needs
• Affect, which deals with your emotional intelligence
• Academic, which refers to how you feel about yourself in an educational environment 
• Family, which covers how you see yourself as a family member
• Physical, or how you feel about your appearance, self-presentation, and health

Bracken also developed an assessment to evaluate children on each of these self-concept categories. When someone takes that assessment, they may be able to identify places where they’re less sure of themselves or feel negatively. This paves a clearer path toward self-acceptance.

How does self-concept develop?

Some self-concepts are straightforward. For example, if your occupation is teaching, you’re an educator. If you were born into a religious family, you are more likely to share and identify with a religion. These facts are difficult to negate and don’t require much self-evaluation to determine.

However, no one’s life exists in a vacuum. Your relationship with others and society helps form your self-concept. You observe the world around you, what you contribute to it, and the behaviors you exhibit. This adds social traits to the things you know about yourself. The same happens when others tell you how they perceive you.

Here are a few real-world examples of how your self-concept develops throughout your life: 

• You understand you’re tall in early childhood because you measure higher than your classmates
• You know you’re great at active listening because your boss has cited this quality in every performance review
• You win a series of races and learn you are a strong athlete
• You read a book about parenting styles and determine you are an authoritative parent
• You consistently get positive feedback at work and characterize yourself as good at your job
• You identify with the interests of a group, like a team or political party, and discover you’re a supporter

How do others' perceptions influence your self-concept?

How others listen, interact, and react to your behaviors can influence your self-concept. However, it’s important to remember that their estimations aren’t always correct. That’s not to say that these ideas won’t seep into your understanding of yourself, but you should assess others’ perceptions carefully. 

In a misunderstanding, a friend might assume you aren’t loyal to them. But you know you’re a loyal person, and this trait is central to your self-concept. That trait won’t change because of this misunderstanding. 

If you let a misconstrued conception shift your self-perception, you risk adopting false ideas about who you are. Maintaining a high level of self-love and understanding others’ biases can help you keep an accurate self-concept.

The relationship between self-concept and life success

Because your self-knowledge shapes your belief and validation of yourself, having a positive self-concept is an important factor in achieving success. As your self-concept improves, your performance may improve.

The beliefs you have about yourself can greatly influence your actions. Behaving in a way that confirms the expectations you have for yourself is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you believe you’re a failure, you may be more likely to fail at something. That’s why it’s important to be aware of your self-concept and how it impacts your life.

Positive vs. negative self-concept examples

Ideally, your self-concept comprises facts about yourself. But where’s the line between fact and fiction? What’s an accurate self-description, and what’s an opinion? Here are some positive and negative self-concept examples to guide you.

Positive self-concept examples

Developing a positive self-concept means recognizing your positive qualities, roles, and attributes. Examples of positive self-concepts include the following:

• Positive physical characteristics, like having endurance or shiny hair

• Positive personality traits, such as having humility, compassion, and empathy

• Work/hobbies such as being a nurse or volunteer

• Social roles, like being a sibling, friend, or loving partner

• Personal values such as honesty, loyalty, and integrity 

Negative self-concept examples

Similar to negative self-talk, negative self-concepts stem from negative perceptions of yourself. These perceptions can come from your insecurities or comments made by others. Examples of what someone might say if they have a negative self-concept include the following:

• I’m a bad communicator
• I struggle to build healthy relationships
• I always fall victim to social comparison on social media
• I wish I was a better parent

Having a negative view of yourself can impact your self-confidence and limit your ability to grow. It’s important to develop self-awareness so you can identify lies you may believe about yourself.

5 ways to build a positive self-concept

Now that you understand the importance of a positive self-concept, you’re likely wondering how you can cultivate one. This requires a mix of introspection and changing negative thought patterns.

Identify negative self-talk

The first step in building a positive self-concept is to identify your automatic negative thoughts. To shift your mindset in a positive direction, you need to know what your brain is saying about you that isn’t true. 

Listen for negative things your mind tells you throughout the day and write them down. Examples of negative thoughts include the following:

• “It’s all my fault”
• “I knew they didn’t like me”
• “I never get anything right”
• “I’m not as attractive as my friends”
• “I’m a bad parent”

Reframe limiting beliefs

Once your negative thoughts have been identified, they need to be reframed. A great way to do this is to start journaling. Journaling supports your emotional well-being and improves your mental health. It can also help with self-discovery. 

Try responding to the negative thoughts you’ve written down with a positive spin. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I mess everything up,” make a list of things you’re good at to combat this thought.

If you’re not sure what to write, consider using self-esteem journal prompts to help you learn how to build confidence. You can also try responding to self-exploration journal prompts that can help you determine the following:

• What do I like about myself?
• How would I describe myself to a stranger?
• How can I improve my self-care?
• What has been my greatest accomplishment?
• What are some challenges I’ve overcome?
• How do I feel about my self-worth?

Focus on consistency

Building a positive self-concept is not a one-and-done act. It’s something you’ll need to work on every day. That’s why journaling is a great habit to pick up as it can remind you to keep a positive mindset. 

Challenge yourself to reframe one negative thought each day. The repetition can help this way of thinking stick.

Get out of your comfort zone

Part of finding self-concept clarity is knowing your boundaries and the risks you’re willing to take. Push yourself to get out of your comfort zone to discover more about why certain things feel uncomfortable. Pay attention to how you feel and react to the situation. This can help prove to yourself what you can accomplish.

Celebrate your wins

Reward yourself. Changing your thought patterns is not easy. When you catch yourself turning your negative thoughts around, be sure to recognize and celebrate it. This can help you stay motivated to continue your personal growth.

The next step to refining your self-concept

A positive self-concept is critical in setting and achieving goals and building good habits. However, it’s not always easy to achieve this reality on your own.

Working 1:1 with a personal coach can help you reorient your self-concept for the better. A coach can help you build a foundation to advocate for yourself and implement life-enhancing strategies across your personal and professional life.

Discover your true self. Find your coach.