How to handle homesickness and find comfort in new places

Early adulthood is full of big changes. You might head off to college, take a gap year to travel, or relocate for a new job. And as much as you might be looking forward to these next steps, moving away from home can stir up a mix of feelings and emotions. 

You might feel excited about the opportunity, determined to be independent, and nervous about meeting new people. But you’re bound to feel homesick at some point. You’ll miss your family, friends, and even pets, and you might find yourself yearning for the comfort of home. Feeling sad, or even upset, is perfectly normal. 

Knowing how to handle homesickness with healthy coping strategies can help you move past these feelings and focus on your latest and greatest adventure.

What’s homesickness?

Homesickness is the emotional distress you might feel when you’re in new and unfamiliar surroundings, like when you go on an extended trip or move away from your hometown. You miss your community and ordinary routine, and as a result, you might yearn for those old comforts. 

Most people associate feeling homesick with childhood, but in adults, it’s more common than you might think. Studies show that 50%–75% of people have experienced homesickness at some point in their lives. 

The strength of these feelings may catch you off guard, especially if you’re away from home for the first time. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you have a problem. Usually, homesickness will fade with time: researchers found that in college students, feelings of homesickness begin to taper off after 1–6 weeks.

Feelings of homesickness could persist or get in the way of everyday activities, which may be a sign of a bigger issue. If that’s the case, seek help from a mentor, coach, or mental health professional to learn the root cause and take steps to feel more comfortable in your new environment.

Homesickness symptoms

Homesickness can manifest in unexpected ways, including both mental and physical symptoms. You might not even realize you’re homesick and wonder why you’re lashing out or having difficulty concentrating.

Emotionally, missing home might look like: 

• Sadness and crying

• Anxiety

• Anger and irritability

• Disorientation

• Difficulty concentrating 

• Lack of motivation

In terms of your bodily health, physical symptoms of homesickness could include:

• Headaches

• Physical discomfort

• Nausea or other digestive issues

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Lack of energy

If some of these symptoms coincide with your relocation to a new place, chances are you’re feeling homesick. Thankfully, there are strategies out there to help you learn how to get over homesickness. You just need to find the one that works best for you.

10 tips to cope with homesickness

Constantly calling family or looking at old pictures of your friends may help you connect to what’s happening at home, but it won’t help you overcome feelings of homesickness.

You need to put in the effort and focus on your own experience, whether you’re building a new life in a new city or getting through your first semester at college. Don’t let homesickness hold you back. 

Here are some tips to help you build connections and become comfortable in your new home:

1. Realize homesickness is perfectly normal

Feeling bad about missing home and wondering how long homesickness will last isn’t productive. Let yourself experience these emotions for a few days — but the first step toward feeling better is to let yourself accept and experience these emotions. 

Have a good cry. Practice some self-care. It’s okay. You’re adjusting to and coping with a new environment. The new surroundings will eventually feel like home if you give them a chance. And don’t pretend everything’s going well if it isn’t. Your old community is still there for you, and they’ll support you from afar if they learn how you’re feeling.

2. Change your perspective

Thinking about everything that’s going on at home without you is understandable. But instead of focusing on what you're missing, try finding opportunities available to you in your new location.

If you’re starting college, attend networking events or look for clubs that might interest you. Take the leap and start a conversation. You can share the excitement with old friends and family members on your next visit or over the phone when you're checking in. 

3. Talk with someone about how you feel

Roommates. Lab partners. Colleagues. Someone in your sphere is most likely experiencing homesickness right along with you. Studies show 94% of first-year college students miss home at some point. 

Talk to the people around you, and you might be surprised at who’s in the same boat. Share your feelings and work together to create a support system of new friends. 

4. Distract yourself

If you find yourself caught in a cycle of negative feelings, try to find distractions, even for a few minutes or hours. Clean your room. Go for a walk. Get together with a new friend and visit a museum or park. 

If those don’t help your homesickness, try a few mindfulness exercises to keep you from slipping back into your homesick thoughts. Distraction doesn’t work for everyone, but trying to distract yourself is the first step to discovering whether it does.

5. Get out of your comfort zone

Take a chance to make a new friend. Invite your classmate to a study session at the library, start a conversation with someone at the bus stop, or sit with a colleague at lunch. Even just talking to someone can remind you you’re not alone, and you’ll feel proud of yourself for getting out of your comfort zone. Starting a friendship takes time and effort, but it’s worth it to put yourself out there. 

6. Find new groups

If you aren’t comfortable connecting with others on your own, find clubs, organizations, and other opportunities to meet new people. Shared interests are an excellent foundation for a developing relationship.

If you’re an international student, investigate ex-pat clubs in your area to socialize and make new friends from your home country. If reading is your passion outside of work, find a book club and share recommendations with like-minded people.

7. Develop self-care practices

Stay positive by doing something every day that makes you smile. It could be a trip to check out a new coffee shop or getting together with your roommates to watch an evening game show. It could even be buying flowers and luxuriating in a hot bath. 

Developing a positive outlook is easier when you establish new self-care routines and give yourself something to look forward to, no matter how small. Self-care practices aid mental fitness and make sure you’re spending valuable time with yourself.

8. Bring reminders of home

Curing homesickness for adults doesn’t mean letting go of childhood completely. Do you have a favorite teddy bear or blanket? What about some photos of you and your family? Bring them with you when you leave home. These items make your living space feel more your own and help you feel connected to loved ones. 

9. Stay healthy

Exercising, getting enough sleep, and eating a nutritious diet aren’t only crucial to your physical well-being. Developing healthy habits and caring for yourself is essential to protecting your mental health as well. Exercise directly impacts your emotional health, and eating well aids concentration. Give yourself the internal strength and resilience to face everyday challenges. 

10. Stay in touch (but don’t overdo it)

Talk regularly with your friends and family back home and remember that they’ll never forget you. Just be sure to do so in moderation. Daily phone calls or video chats can make your homesickness worse. Stay in contact with everyone back home, but give yourself enough space to develop your new life.

What to avoid when feeling homesick

Leaving home and finding yourself in a completely new situation is exciting and overwhelming all at once. To cope, some behaviors may make you feel better temporarily, but can isolate you from others in the long run. The end goal is to feel more comfortable where you are now, not wallow in the past.

Here are a few things to watch out for if you’re homesick:

1. Taking on too much

Distraction can be a valuable tool to keep homesickness at bay. Still, if you’re working too much and taking on too many responsibilities you don’t have time to process these feelings, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Let yourself feel sad. Acknowledge it. Then find ways to cope that make you feel better without burying your emotions, like journaling.

2. Disconnecting from your support network

You’re going through a big transition. You need love and support, especially from your friends and family back home. If you find yourself pushing them away, take a step back and figure out why. Having a solid social network to lean on, even from afar, can help you solve problems, improve your self-esteem, and even manage stress. 

3. Isolating yourself 

It’s easy to experience social isolation when you move somewhere new. Maybe you're embarrassed by your homesickness and don’t want to share your feelings with others. Or maybe you think you’re being disloyal to your friends back home if you make new ones. 

But social connections are an important part of maintaining your physical and mental health. You need to get out, make friends, and start experiencing life — and you aren’t betraying your old friends by doing so. You can start small by saying hello to someone you see regularly and gradually move on from there to other, more engaging social interactions. 

4. Giving up activities you once loved

If your hobbies include close members of your social circle, participating in them when you're away from home can make you miss them even more. That’s understandable, but you shouldn’t avoid the activity entirely. You deserve to have some fun, and finding people with similar interests is a great way to make friends. 

5. Neglecting your mental and physical wellness

Taking care of your physical health can help you manage your emotions and eventually overcome the sadness of missing home. Getting regular exercise releases endorphins that reduce stress and improve your mood, and eating nutritious food gives you the energy to think clearly and feel more alert. Taking care of yourself, even in simple ways like showering and making a healthy meal, can improve your experience.

6. Being impulsive

Feeling down because you’re missing home can seem like too big a hurdle to overcome, and you might believe the only solution is to pack up and go home. Before you decide to move on, stop and take a moment to think. Your decision-making skills deplete when you’re stressed, so a spur-of-the-moment choice might not actually reflect your best option.

Give yourself time to adjust, and take care of yourself. If you’re still struggling, seek support and advice to make the best decision with your future in mind, not the past.

There’s no place like home

Whether you’re moving to a new city, settling into a year abroad, or launching your college career, homesickness is real — and it’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. Share your feelings with your peers. Someone may feel the same as you and could benefit from having a friend experiencing the same thing.

Working together to learn how to handle homesickness can help you create a sense of community. And once you have a community, you have a home.