Mentor-mentee relationships are beyond powerful, here’s why

August 18, 2021 - 16 min read

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What is a mentor-mentee relationship?

What are the roles and responsibilities of a mentor?

What are the roles and responsibilities of a mentee?

The importance of feedback in mentorship

What does a successful mentor-mentee relationship look like?

What does a bad mentor-mentee relationship look like?

5 tips to start and maintain a great mentor-mentee relationship

Ready for an outstanding mentor-mentee relationship?

The mentor-mentee relationship is one of the most crucial you will develop during your career.

Finding and working with a mentor is a defining career moment for many people. One that accelerates professional growth and helps them meet both short-term and long-term goals.

And once you gain significant experience, you can influence the next generation of business leaders by becoming a mentor yourself.

But why does mentoring matter, and what makes a successful mentor-mentee relationship? Let’s find out why a mentor is important for your career.

What is a mentor-mentee relationship?

The mentor-mentee relationship is a professional and interpersonal relationship. It exists between a mentor and a protégé or mentee.

Mentors are different from coaches and act as guides to their mentees. They do this by offering advice and support, as well as helping them develop new skills.

The precise function of each mentor-mentee relationship varies from case to case. But in general, the goal is to help the mentee achieve personal and professional objectives.

These objectives are often similar to those the mentor has already achieved and are usually in line with organizational goals. However, a mentor doesn’t necessarily have to be someone from the same company as you.

Mentorship is important because it helps people realize their potential. This allows them to reach their goals more quickly than they would on their own. This is because it’s easier to tap into your potential with the support and guidance of an experienced mentor.

What are the roles and responsibilities of a mentor?

If you’re looking for a mentor, look for someone you think would fulfill the following roles and responsibilities.

If you’re a mentor or considering becoming one, use this as a guide to improve the quality of your mentorship.

1. Act as a role model

By definition, a mentor is a person who others look up to and respect. But with recognition comes responsibility. Employees expect you to set the standards for both their behavior and their achievements.

This responsibility is not to be taken lightly. Make sure your words are coherent with your actions. Build trust and respect among your employees, and always do your best to act with the utmost integrity.

2. Help mentees with their career development

Mentors may help mentees define their career path through goal-setting. Together, they set out an action plan so that they can achieve their goals within a specific time frame.

3. Provide constructive feedback

Since a mentor’s role is to support their mentee’s growth and development, it’s essential for them to provide constructive feedback.

The mentor has experience that the mentee lacks and can use that experience to guide their mentee to their desired destination.

4. Be a coach

A good mentor knows when to use coaching techniques and when to intervene with advice.

A coach encourages their clients to look for their own solutions. But a mentor will also give career advice to their mentee based on their own career.

5. Act as a sounding board

A mentor is always there for their mentee. They help them develop ideas, overcome challenges, achieve their career goals, and celebrate their wins.

They may also take on the role of devil’s advocate when the mentee has to make a decision. This helps the mentee consider all possible factors and outcomes before deciding.

6. Follow up on their mentee’s progress

A mentor should follow up regularly with their mentees to hold them accountable for any actions they agree to take.

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What are the roles and responsibilities of a mentee?

Having a mentor doesn’t mean handing the wheel over to them. Being a mentee also carries responsibility and commitment.

Before embarking on a mentorship, make sure you’re ready to work hard and take on the following roles and responsibilities.

1. Be coachable

To be coachable means letting the mentor take the lead and being open and willing to listen to their insights.

It also means being highly committed to your own personal growth and professional development.

2. Use active listening

When the mentor is speaking, use active listening to understand and absorb the information they’re sharing. Reflect back what you’ve heard them say to make sure you’ve understood it correctly.

Avoid interrupting and make notes of the most relevant points. Asking lots of questions helps you gain more clarity.

3. Be clear on your goals

You may not know exactly what your professional goals are before starting the mentor-mentee relationship. But you should know what your goals for the mentor-mentee relationship are.

You should also know which direction you want to go so that the mentor will know whether they can help or not.

Knowing your objectives also helps the mentor decide on exactly which guidance or advice to give you and what approach to take.

4. Ask for feedback

A good mentor will provide plenty of feedback, but if you need more, you should never be afraid to ask.

It can be uncomfortable to receive constructive criticism. But it’s fundamental for your professional growth.

Be open to listening to and acting on any feedback without getting defensive. Instead, thank the mentor for their honesty and for helping you grow.

5. Respect the mentor’s time

The mentor is volunteering part of their precious time to help you. Avoid being late for meetings and keep explanations as concise as possible.

You should also respect meeting times and avoid asking for last-minute changes, as well as replying to messages or calls promptly.

6. Be ready to move on

All mentor-mentee relationships end. You must prepare yourself to move beyond the mentoring process once it finishes.

Staying in contact with your mentor can help you stay motivated. It can also help you overcome future obstacles. But avoid overreliance on your mentor once the mentorship ends.

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The importance of feedback in mentorship

Feedback plays an essential role in mentorship. It’s what allows the mentee to take action and make decisions that help them achieve their goals. The mentor’s feedback can help them avoid mistakes and save time in the process.

However, there is an art to giving constructive criticism. Mentors should criticize behaviors and choices, but not the person.

They should also take every opportunity to offer a balance of both positive and developmental feedback and use all communication channels. This could be anything from a formal meeting to an instant message.

What does a successful mentor-mentee relationship look like?

Every mentorship is unique. However, there are a few characteristics that all successful mentor-mentee relationships share.

1. Mutual respect

The relationship between a mentor and mentee is a two-way professional relationship. Both parties are invested in the mentee’s success.

The mentor doesn’t belittle or diminish the mentee in any way — after all, they were once in their shoes. Likewise, the mentee respects and listens to the mentor’s opinions and advice.

2. Personal connection

People who share similarities are more likely to have a successful mentoring relationship. This might be their beliefs and values, educational background, career trajectory, or even where they're from.

A good mentoring program will pair mentors with mentees who have things in common.

3. Communication and listening

Effective communication is essential for a successful mentor-mentee relationship. The mentor must be able to deliver constructive feedback and use active listening to judge what the mentee needs.

The mentee should be receptive to feedback and also use active listening to make sure they understand what is being conveyed to them.

4. Realistic expectations

The mentor and mentee should agree on a set of realistic expectations for the outcomes of the relationship. For example, the mentee cannot hold the mentor responsible for the achievement of their desired results.

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What does a bad mentor-mentee relationship look like?

According to research, there are six main characteristics that could cause a mentoring relationship to fail.

1. Poor communication

Poor communication can lead to unclear expectations, setting the mentorship up for failure. The mentee should feel safe to open up to the mentor and share things honestly with them.

2. Lack of commitment

The mentor must be 100% committed to the mentee’s success. Otherwise, they will get distracted and fail to engage with or prioritize their responsibilities as a mentor.

The mentee must also be committed to the process and should take the lead in planning their own career and scheduling the mentorship program.

3. Personality differences

When two people have a totally different worldview, it’s difficult for them to agree on the best path forward. Their preferred working methods should also be compatible.

4. Perceived competition

Sometimes, mentors can feel threatened by their juniors and inadvertently try to sabotage them or fail to give them credit for their work.

5. Conflicts of interest

The mentor may be in a senior position, but they should not have direct authority over the mentee, and the mentee should not depend on them for resources. Otherwise, it could create a conflict of interest.

6. Mentor’s lack of experience

A mentor needs to have sufficient knowledge and experience to be able to provide the mentee with the guidance and advice they need.

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5 tips to start and maintain a great mentor-mentee relationship

Whether you’re a potential mentor or mentee, follow these five mentor-mentee relationship guidelines for success.

1. Look for similarities

When choosing a mentor, look for things you have in common that will help you establish a personal connection. This might be a shared passion for swing dancing or being from the same city — the possibilities are endless.

2. Commit to the process

Mentorship requires time, dedication, and hard work on the part of both the mentor and the mentee. Without commitment, there won’t be the necessary discipline to follow through on actions or agreements. This will lead to the failure of the mentorship.

3. Set goals

A mentorship should have clearly defined goals that guide the form and content and allow measurement of the mentee’s progress.

4. Build trust

Make sure that both of you align on your values and principles before embarking on a mentoring relationship. These will form the foundation of the relationship.

Schedule regular face-to-face and video meetings and build trust through personal connection.

5. Establish a communication plan

Agree on regular touchpoints and accountability check-ins. As a mentor, make sure you celebrate every win, no matter how small.

On the flip side, never pass up an opportunity to provide constructive feedback, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

Ready for an outstanding mentor-mentee relationship?

The mentor-mentee relationship benefits can transform your career. Working with a mentor allows you to benefit from their experience and wisdom. This helps you replicate their successes and avoid repeating their mistakes.

But mentorship is a commitment that should be taken seriously by both parties in order to give the desired results. Following the steps outlined above will help set you up for a successful collaboration with your mentor or mentee.

If working with a mentor isn’t possible for you right now, consider working with a BetterUp coach instead. They fulfill many of the roles of a mentor, such as goal-setting, coaching, and accountability, and they are 100% committed to your success.

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Published August 18, 2021

Shonna Waters, PhD

Vice President of Alliance Solutions

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